BF

I recognize why you have a need for so much control, but I see how you could be cutting off your nose to spite your face too

This statement has stayed with me since I read it.
Yes you are right I do pretty much wear the pants in my house. You caught onto that fairly quickly. And though I have always felt that I took off the dress and put on the pants because someone had to wear them not because I wanted to. And I often say I wish my H would take over wearing the pants. (I do some what relate this to being manly) And I get very frustrated because the only thing he seems to feel any need to control is me. I wonder if he was willing to be in charge if I would let him. Or if being in charge is really a part of my nature to the point it would become a competitive factor.

My mother has always said that I have a very dominating personality. Not that I try to dominate but my personality type is a take charge type. This is why I excel in the work place and so forth. Most people who are followers do not feel comfortable when put in charge. I have no issue with being put in charge and in a situation where there is no leadership I will tend to take it rather then sit around idle. So maybe as you keep trying to point out to me my personality out powers/over powers his. Thus keeping me in control.

You have a lot of skill and practice with controlling men

You know you are right on this also. What I stated before is true. But so is the fact that I steady men like in the work place if they happen to be my boss. Catagorize them and deal with them by my perception of there personality type. ( looking at the big picture I realized you were not just speaking in personal relationships). This is a form of manipulation and control. Why I do it? Maybe it is some form of self protection or just a case of me knowing what I want and how to get it. Either way there are pro's and con's to it.

Its a skill that can actually hurt you if you think less of men for being the creatures that they are, when they succumb to your wiles.

Oh I plead guilty on this. In one of my earlier thread there was a long discussion on how I did not feel it wronge to take advantage of sexuality and mens own knack for thinking with the wronge body part for self gain.
Dealing with these type of men did by all means leave a bad taste in my mouth. Which showed very strongly in my words.

I doubt there are many guys that could past your tests long term Chrissy

Actually most of my relationships have lasted well over two years even when I was young. And I am usually the one who gets bored and leaves the relationship. Jobs the same 2-5 years is my max before I set out looking for a new adventure to try. And no I do not have ADD. But once something is no longer challenging I have a hard time wanting to continue bothering with it.

I am putting alot of focus on trying to find the positives with H right now and work off of them as IHJ suggested. The whole keeping me warm thing is in major play right now. H seems to enjoy the fact I use him to keep warm. So I keep thanking him and being silly about it. BF I guess you are right you men are such simple creatures!