Heck they got the perfect marriage. They do not have to see each other or put up with each other but every other weekend. So what time they do spend with each other is QT.
Chrissy... Just a thought for you--- You have mentioned several times the your H initiates sex with you at the most inconsiderate times. And I think he is doing this not to be insensitive or malicious, but because he senses your rejection and it makes him nutz. I know for myself I experienced my highest sex drive when my H was in rejecting mode...it made me needy and hypersexual ( not in a good way). Our MC explained what was going on( the rejecting making me crazy) and said that this is very common. So I am thinking that when you aren't feeling so well and are sending those " don't touch me" vibes, perhaps you can give him some extra hugs of reassurance.
As far as your D's b-day gift...wow, I just can't relate to a mom giving her daughter lingerie. In many areas of sexual maturity I was left on my own...it's like my mom refused to deal with me growing up. Bras, tampons, shaving legs...all figured out with a little help from my friends. ( I am so on top of D13 in this way). It will be interesting to hear what the other women on the BB suggest.
I also found out about all the girl stuff without any help from my mother, so don't know how it would be in a mother-daughter R that's close.
Having said that, I also cannot imagine lingerie as a prez from mom to daughter. I mean, Freud says that both sets of parents are already in bed with us anyway-- why make it worse?
Now if you're talking about a fuzzy bathrobe or something, that's a different story.
You all now I do not fall in the realm of the normal by now!
Though my mom really never said anything about woman changing she would leave things like bra's on my bed at the appropriate time frame.
Chauncie and me have a whole different repore then that though. She grew out of the fuzzy jammie stage long ago. When she was about 13 I started buying her little cami top and short sets. When she was right around 18 she took a interest in the lingerie in my store and bought some. It has all long been lost like a large majority of the clothes she has bought. And since she is married and away from her H so often I just thought it would be fun. Plus in truth I cannot think of anything else to get her.
but because he senses your rejection and it makes him nutz.
But I was not rejecting him I was sleeping!
I do see your point though about how when I am in quite mode or feeling poorly I might need to give him some extra affection of another means. But he has such a tendency to try to take a simple hug to other places it will probably end the same. Me feeling he is a inconsiderate jerk. But hey I am willing to give it a try.
We have the whole day together tomorrow since I am off work. Thinking within the course of that 24 hours I should be able to up the stats of my monthly goal by two. Morning and night then I have a week to ease in the other couple of romps and should be back on target.
Okay, he is an insensitive jerk, lol. I have said the same thing about my H many times on the board. But nonetheless, here we are, looking for solutions. And one suggestion I have is something from a CeMar post...to give H the hugs and all, lovingly reject him, and make plans for rescheduling. Just pointing out to you that your moods affect him...and he isn't too savvy on how to handle them. Instead he feels an increased need to have sex due to the rejection, and then the drama ensues. The drama gets tiring after awhile.
Chauncie...what a pretty name. Funny how I feel comfortable sharing the most private parts of my sex life here, but my kids' names...too paranoid. Like everyone will know who Journey really is, as if I am so important in this world.
Lil...my partner in maternal neglect...we have missed out on a lot, haven't we? I like the robe idea, even some spa stuff. Chrissy, you sound like one cool mom...have to lend me a hand as D13 comes of age.
Being a cool mom is easy for me. All my kids friends think I am cool but they all are also deathly afraid of me lol!
What a odd combo.
I have five general rules of raising my kids.
1. Support there individuality. And allow them to express it.
2. Make them aware there are consequences for there actions.
3. Listen to them be there friend but always be there mother first.
4. Do not be a hypocrite and expect them to make mistakes. Big ones and small ones.
5. Love them and let them know you do without allowing them to run all over you.
Holden,Heath and Austin are all close in age 4 years spread between them. And they are as different as night and day in some ways. I try to spend individual time with them all to get to know them. Sometimes that means I am watching cartoons or horror movies Some times that means I am listening to Country music or Rap. Going to baseball games or football games or soon to be watching Heath play in the chess club (oh that will be fun). I dance with them watch them dance. I take turns cooking there favorite foods durring the week. What ever it takes to make them feel special. Yet will slap them down in a heart beat if they step out of line. None of them like mom to be upset with them. It matters to them. I find it amazing at times.
And there friends are the same. I have at times had one to two that stayed her more then at home. And I dealt with them the same. Friends that cross the line with me. Are exiled and they are forwarned so they also tow the line yet think I am cool. I never had a parent that interacted with me.But had friends who's parents that did and thought it was awesome. So I try to use them as role models
Chauncie and I banter we do the little fights no that is my shirt no it is mine. Oh I look much hotter in that then you do and so forth. It is great fun.
Right before Chauncie moved out she gave me the most awesome present. She told me she apprieciated the fact that one everyone elses parents let there kids do just about anything or have just about anything and I always wanted to know where she was and what she was doing. And that when I corrected her or would not allow her to do things even though at the time she thought I was being mean. She knows that I was looking out for her and she thanked me for that and teaching her to be responsible.
It was the most awesome thing to have one of your children say hey mom thanks for being a bitch at times I know you did it because you loved me.
Oh I think I have figured out what to get her for her birthday. I am going to pay her cell bill for the month. Then just get her a little something like tanning sessions and take her to lunch.
(Going to admit the only reason is I realized if I put a order in for lingerie with one of the companys I sell products from I may not get it in time).
Spa products are great. But her Christmas stocking is always filled with Bath and Body works products to last the year. It is hell as they get older figuring out what to get them.
We did have one major blowup in the last week or so since I posted. I was really tired one night I mean really tired I went to bed around 10:30 and was asleep in 10 minutes. I had been watching tv with H prior to that and told him I was going to bed because I was just exhausted. Around 2 am H woke me up messing around. I was furious that he was being so rude and inconsiderate to wake me up when I had not only stated but obviously was so tired that I could fall asleep in 10 minutes. The next day H told me if I ever got mad at him like that I would find myself sleeping in another room. I said I doubt it. He said oh yes I would very threatening. He was so full of himself and being so serious.
Just a thought here. Perhaps this was your H's clumsy way of being more forceful and "manly" based upon your previous discussion of manly men. Not the best approach to be sure but I'm sure your statement really struck at the core of his self-image.
I was always forceful, cocky, and arrogant but since my wife felt put down by my opinionated mannerisms I spent months working on it. Low and behold, the expected happened. We don't fight anymore, but she seems to have lost all attraction to me. You all are a very difficult gender to please. Now I need to find a way to strike a balance between forceful and strong without tipping into overly opinionated, assuming I have not shown too much of my hand to get the allure back.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
Nah Baltoman you havent shown too much of your hand.
So you have cocky and arrogant down, practice making it funny, and spinning what she says into her chasing/wanting /attacking you.
Opinionated is good, dont let her tell you what to do(ok rarely), but its easy to step on her feelings, not respecting her and appearing condescending.
Quote: Chrissy, you sound like one cool mom...have to lend me a hand as D13 comes of age.
Ah yes! Out of 4 kids two are daughters, aged 18 and 14. My only advice is hold on tight for it will be an interesting ride. Good luck, and remember, they will become human again real soon.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
and should be back on target. 
Now I need to find a way to strike a balance between forceful and strong without tipping into overly opinionated, assuming I have not shown too much of my hand to get the allure back.