Yup...detachment is your protective mechanism...as I have said before, mine is to get depressed/withdraw. The thing is, you can make the choice to reconnect, but it's going to take a lot of hard work. You have to choose to want to bond...by overlooking the negative, focusing on the positive, and building from there. It's not going to feel natural---in fact, it will feel forced.
When living in a volatile, angry, potentially physically abusive relationship, I don't think meaningful "love" can be maintained, much less engendered.
It is not surprising to me at all, that Chrissy can't detect any warm-fuzzies toward her husband. I don't see how the possibility will ever occur, until he has his anger under control. And then his controlling under control.
Maybe some people can tell me what makes there S attractive to them. Maybe I can see something someone else finds attractive/respectful and see that I am overlooking it in my H?
