Nothing can compete with HD breast eposide. That was the one that made me laugh until it hurt. I had not laughed like that in years. But sadly when the laughter subsided I said hey what I do that to my H. And started really re-reading post on here and saying hmmm. Which allowed me to throw out alot of the resentment I had been stewing in for a few years.
You are very focused on your H's needy behavior
Because it is so in my face all the time. I realized that my detached behavoir is very unnerving for my H and others at time. That is why I am trying to form some sort of EC when spending time with him. But the how to force myself to feel something I don't feel is where I am stuck. It is not that I do not allow myself to feel it I just don't. And it is not just with my H. This board has given my pause so many times to say hey I don't feel that I don't even understand why someone would feel that it some times worrys me. In truth it scarred me when D18 moved out and I started doing things to detach myself from the way it made me feel. I do not ever want to detach from my children or distance myself from the way I feel about them. And as we all know I have walked back and tried to figure out where when and why I stopped being emotional but it seems to elude me. Now all I can focus on is trying to figure out how to become emotionally attached how to over ride what seems to be natural for me to detach from things even if I am not doing it intentionally. I just cannot seem to find anywhere to go with this.
I think it would be helpful for you to think of a few things that H can do that would seem attractive in your eyes. He needs your admiration as well.
I do try to praise him when he does something out of the blue without me prompting him to. I understand he needs me to recognize him for his actions. But the underlying truth is it is hard to find things I respect about him other then his work ethics he does work regularly. He is not one to miss as much work as possible. He will not take on extra hours often but not missing work is bigger then that. This is the one area he has really grown in over the last 15 years. When we first met he changed jobs like people changed underwear. So I respect that. My H is great about taking the kids to the doctors. I hate the doctors office so he will take them if he is available. I guess I should show more appreciation of that. But hmmm again my list ends. Maybe some people can tell me what makes there S attractive to them.(Okay not sexually don't want to have them sensor my thread). Maybe I can see something someone else finds attractive/respectful and see that I am overlooking it in my H?
but I agree with BF that you are not as psycho as you like to paint yourself. You recognize the detachment...
LOL not trying to paint myself as psycho. But in truth the fact that I do recognize can even explain to a degree why or how I do things makes me know I am not psycho it just sounds that way. So it is a good laugh.
