Yes and hmmm not neglectful as in not giving a [censored] no just oblivious to what was going on with me. My H as long as he is fed and sexed thinks we have a good relationship. So when I had sunken so far into depression and was literally bed ridden he never thought anything was wronge. When I wanted out was the first he stood up and payed attention to anything. Probably because at the same time I would not put out either. But that is just my opinion.
and that you seem to be taking care of building up yourself.
I am on a quest to make my self who I was before my H which was a very strong person. In my fear of my H I have allowed myself to become someone I do not like. I am not meek nor mimble and do not like having to act that way to keep myself and my kids safe. But it has been along road in my realization of who I am vs who I was and how I got here is what lead me to the Falling apart of Chrissy stage of life. (note this is when I started labling events, It was a way to disassociate myself from a person and actions I did not like).
You seem sufficiently detached to be able to bringing your H up with you,
???? Gonna have to explain that one to me
like GEL said he needs you to need him, see if you can find ways to do this, make him responsible for things
Oh he is not about doing things for me. He is somewhat a acts of service person. H does xy and expects sex as payment for doing such. What he wants is me to be love sick following him around wanting to pet him and coo after him all the while. And BF it is just not in my nature. I can compromise to a degree on this but it is not enough to appease him. And I am unwilling to compromise myself right out of even more of who I am to benifit him. I am being 100% truthful I do not find clingy and needy attractive hence I do not want to feel needy and clingy I have enough unattractive attributes looking me in the mirror.
Let him know something needs to get done, and then drop it.
Did this for 14 years have backed off on it over the last year while in C all my resentment for having to tell him like I was his mother instead of him using his eyes to see came spilling out. H stated he hated the way when I see something needs done or think something needs done I want it done now. So I seldom point out what needs done and seldom does anything get done now. H is lazy to the point he thinks everything can wait until tomorrow. Our Christmas tree is to heavy for me to pick up and carry up a ladder to the attic. Hence it is still in my den. Good thing Christmas is only a few months away!
ROFL. This is hysterically funny to me, and on top of that for you to consider yourself LD, more so
Nope the people here labled me LD I fought it but resigned to the fact I am the LD in my relationship. I could probably give some of the HD people her a run for there money! I do have some LD aspects or things people have filtered into the LD catagory. Like my not carring if I have a O or not and not being in a big hurry to again even if I do. But I think alot of that is conditioning and build up from my sitch and R mixed in with my detachment issues.
While you seem to be at the mercy of your emotions
Now you have me laughing. At the mercy of my emotions? What made you think that. I am at the mercy of my fear I believe but I control my emotions very well. To well I seem to have misplaced quite a few of them.
you are too aware of your dysfunctionalities to be phsycotic.
Really well hows this I have 3 core personalitys to go along with labeling events in my life. There is Chris who is the dont fu@@ with me angry side of my personality from my youth she can be a force to recon with . Then there is Christine she is the more professional/achievement pta based side of my personality and then there is Chrissy she is the best side she is the loving mother sister daughter fun loving enthusiastic adventure seeking side of my personality. No one other then my family and some really close friends call me Chrissy. I was called Chris while growing up going to school and such. I have been called Christine for the past 15 years. But Chrissy is who I am trying to get back to. She is the part of me I want people to see always. She is who I want to see when I look in the mirror. And yes she will have Chris and Christine rolled in but they will be secondary personalities blended into Chrissy. And before anyone one really thinks I have fallen off my rocker. All people have levels and aspects of there personalities I have just recognized and labled mine. And know which ones hold the traits I most want to find within my self. (Lou once said I was very organized and was good to lable things )
Where you wearing leather and holding a whip? LOL.
No but oddly enough this weekend while I was going threw some stuff I brought home from my store when I closed it I found some fur lined handcuffs and a feather and thought hmmm. I do have leather pants though I use to wear them to work lol. I don't know if I can still fit into a size 5 I think my year of idolness has taken me to a 7. Ahh another goal
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