My intial response to his comment about her not acting like a woman was this...
Chrissy...how do you act at home? Are you someone who is perfectly capable of doing anything/everything around the house? Are you someone who doesn't need your H to do anything for you?
I am. There isn't anything around our house I cannot fix/repair, I'm used to it. I was single for quite some time after my D and have always been someone who will simply learn how to do something rather than depend on someone to do it for me. This can be a double-edged sword.
I have found through my experience, and BF feel free to jump in and let me know if I'm anywhere near the mark here (like you wouldn't anyway LOL)....that while men may appreciate the fact that I'm very self-sufficient, they still need to feel like I need them, and I don't mean in a sexual nature. They need to feel as though they are taking care of me in some ways.
Early on in our C it came to light that my H didn't think I needed him for anything, so why was he there? Of course this was back before he realized I truly love him and wanted him (the man) not what he could do for me...and before he realized that there were things I needed of him in other ways. I've since learned (and this wasn't easy for me) to back away a bit from feeling like I MUST take care of everything. It took me awhile to get out of that "self-sufficient/independent" frame of mind.
Now when something needs to be done, that I suppose you might consider a typically male thing, I give him the opportunity to do it (even though I could). He knows I'm capable of taking care of these things...but I've come to notice that, for him, he needs to do some of these things for me to feel like he's contributing something. Make sense?
I used to feel like I had to be self-sufficient, now I know....I can be, but don't have to be.
