Learning to trust myself III

[Burgbud]

He still stands by the idea that I am not sorry to *him*. And maybe he's right. Maybe I'm still too angry to be sorry to him.

I absolutely do not accept this. You know how "love is a verb"? Well, I'm thinking "sorry" is a verb, too. And you've shown him "sorry" in every conceivably important way. Please let yourself off that hook. Now. You've been about the future for awhile now, but he's still about the past. Whatever his issue is that prevents him from moving on to a healthy M with someone who wants one as much as you, well, it's safe to say at this point that's completely his issue.

And his comment about your trip...that just killed me. When's he going to get into the here and now? He'd rather be bitter, angry and resentful than happily married. Somehow that's working for him. Maybe only because it doesn't work for you? Or is he just more comfortable being miserable? I would love for you to be able to figure it out so you can get some clarity in how you're going to move him on or move you on. But I've learned sometimes we have to throw our hands up and accept that we don't really know what makes people in our lives behave in self-destructive ways.

And I'm pretty sure you know how I feel about the bed situation, but I'd be happy to discuss it again if you'd like.

As for your resilience, it's kicked in EVERY day, believe me. I hope it helps you feel better today. It doesn't usually take you long to bounce back. But if it does this time, that's okay, too.

Good luck!