Learning to trust myself III

[koshka]

Heather,

I just cannot shake the feeling that this is never going to work for me. This just isn't where I belong.

What do you mean by "work?"

Why does the fact that I am sleeping on the couch or in another room haunt me like it does??

Because you are allowing yourself to live like the guest who's one too many for the number of beds? In your own home. In front of your kids. To appease H.

In a year and a half, has it gotten you closer to H emotionally? Has it made you feel better about yourself? Does it make you feel better about your M? Does it at least make it easier to get up for work? Hey, I like looking for silver linings, but that's a joke.

You asked yourself a question about why you care. Have you written anything poetic lately that might help you get clarity?

Does anyone out there think it would be totally beyond my rights to move back in my room without an invitation from him since it's been a year and a half?

It's been all night and there's not a lot of hands going up, Heather. More importantly, what do you think and feel about it?

Thanks,

K