Learning to trust myself III

[heatherg]

I guess because I just feel so insignificant in my life with H that when someone says something nice to me, it feels especially good. In general, I have a deep need to feel understood. H and I disagree on so many things and it seems that the more I show my needs, the more he refuses to give. I mean, even just today he asked how the kids did this morning but he refuses to ask me how I'm feeling and how I'm holding up. I expressed that last night was difficult (on the heels of everyone being sick) because I had to help S5 cope with a constipation problem (the joys of being a mother ) and it was just frustrating (if it's not one thing, it's another). I'm not stupid, I don't need to be told that this is what being a parent is about. I know that. I hate to even express thoughts like these because I feel selfish. I just want a safe place in the world with someone that I can confide in, i.e. I just didn't feel like being a Mom today and not be judged for it because that person would know and understand how deeply I love my children and understand the statement for what it is, being momentarily overwhelmed. I don't have that with H, particularly where our kids are concerned. He just doesn't get it why I would need to be a 'woman' in addition to a 'mom', and why that 'woman' likes to feel taken care of and protected sometimes too.
So, to answer your question NY, when someone actually hears what I am saying and validates it, I just feel, well, good. And then I don't feel the need to keep saying it in a multitude of different ways because I know I've been understood. And that I was important enough to listen to in the first place. Imagine that.

I suppose for you, if your WAW feels at all like I do, her comments would be a good thing for you. Because it means she's emotionally deprived which doesn't say good things about the status of her R with OM.