Learning to trust myself III

[heatherg]

Hey all, it feels good to post! As I try to be super-employee, super-Mom, self-enlightened and fitting in regular exercise, I have found that for some reason my time is limited.

This morning I took a few minutes to just sit quietly. I'll probably try to do that each morning before I wake up the kiddy kats. I am not a person who can exercise in the morning......so I decided to save that for evening and I'll try meditation in the mornings.

Happy Halloween. I don't even wanna know what your kids were...that had to be a cutefest.

Thanks Bud! We did have a happy Halloween. The kids were adorable-Elora was a princess and Tucker was Lord Vladek ( a Lego knight). They had a blast. Ellie had just as much candy as the boys and she went to half the houses. Whoever said looks don't matter was WRONG!!! LOL. I hope you guys had fun as well. I didn't see a post on your thread about it, did your boys trick or treat?

H and I had a very good talk on Monday night. We stayed up very late and some good things were said. I addressed sleeping in the guest room and told him that although I wish things were different, I had no choice but to respect his decision that we need to sleep in separate beds. But I told him if that was the case, that I thought he needed to be responsible for his feelings. That he couldn't say " I don't want to sleep in the same bed as you, therefore you need to sleep in the guest room". Meaning that you cannot make another person accomodate your feelings-you must accomodate your own feelings and I think the way to do that would be to say " I don't want to sleep in the same bed as you , therefore I will sleep in the guest room".

He got a little snotty and said he would never go back in our room again if I did that, and I told him not to get snotty and not to threaten me. That if that's the way it would be, then that's the way it would have to be I guess. I told him for right now, I'm just telling him how I feel about it.

The next day I took off from work and we did some stuff as a family. We were in Toys R Us and he reached out to hold my hand. That was one of the first public displays of genuine affection that I can remember since the A was revealed. There has been a lot of physical contact, but I've attributed it to be of a more sexual nature. Holding hands is just not sexual in my opinion, so it felt like genuine affection.

He left again Tuesday evening. So, I'm back to being single Mom.

My brother called me and is coming to stay with me for a couple weeks to see if he can find a job here, him and his girlfriend would like to move back!! That is awesome, some of you might remember that I was pretty bummed to find out he was leaving to go back to MI. So, hopefully he'll find a job and be living here again soon.

And yes, I'm still running!! I'm not fond of it, but I do it because it's quick and effective. When my brother gets here, I'll probably get to go to karate a lot more than I do now. He will watch the kids for me so I can go. That will be great.

Thanks for checking in on me!!