Quote: In KLA, Michele mentions that many people think they have to have 'loving feelings' to work on feeling closer to their partner. She says it isn't so. But what if you quite nearly hate your partner?! I don't always hate him, only a certain side of him, certain qualities. When that side is out, I hate him instantly. And yes, I consistently sabotage my own efforts. I seem to be able to tame the ill feelings, but as soon as I see that side of him, it all comes back. I'm just not sure how to stop hating the things I hate. Or maybe I just fake it till I make it here? Maybe it's unrealistic to expect that all the bad feelings will go away, but I need to work on my actions/reactions so that I don't give it away?
Hatred ain't the opposite of love. Indifference is. If you have strong feelings for H, then maybe you can turn them positive.
What are some specific things about "that side?" Can you view them from another angle, to see if they're some kind of positive in that light? If it's drinking, well, there's not much to do for that. But if he pays too much attention to the kids and too little to you, can you think of that as him being a good Dad? You still need to get your needs met, but maybe the KLA techniques will help bring him around, and in the meantime you try to look for positive views where you can.
Keep your sense of humor. You'll need it for all of this.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
