so it has not been that long that things have been better. And, in all honesty, that is probably due to the fact that he has been gone, travelling for work for the majority of that time.
I know you probably feel a bit irritated whenever I mention "rationalization", but then, you do tell me to go on, so I'll go on.
The thing about rationalizing is that the events we derive our rationalization from are based in reality, so it seems to us as if that's the way it truly is.
For example, Matt has been travelling and hasn't been around, so obviously, there hasn't been opportunity to truly work on things with him. That's the real event, but does that truly mean that nothing can happen during that time to improve the realtionship?
He's away on business, but you know what? Being apart from you also affords him the perfect opportunities to reflect on himself and you and, if he's given to really making the marriage work, that self-reflection ought to lead to noticeable changes. There are probably points of contact while he's away, such as when you two call each other, where you may determine if changes are occurring. There's also email, letters, cards, whatever, that can be corresponded and again where you may see indications of his self-growth. He's away on business, but he's not in suspended animation.
And I mentioned the idea of setting aside a time to discuss the A... As soon as he gets back, I will start that process. My thoughts are that maybe some real healing can occur then and maybe we'll be able to move forward. After all of this, if things still have not changed much, I think I will just have to do what I need to do.
Good plan.
if it finally ends and it ends bad, well then, there's nothing more I could have done.
Well, yes. But do get rid of your indignation and other ill feelings, so that you don't sabotage your efforts. Approach this with a clean canvas so to speak.
