Thanks. It is a big deal in my M, unfortunate as that may be. I do believe that I deserve to be there. I also believe that if I'm not the one to eventually put myself back there, that I will resent him and myself for allowing someone else to be 'in charge' of me.
So, I know I have to do it, and like NY said it won't be easy. The time is just not right yet. My impatience and indignance would be driving me if I did it right now and I need to make sure that I am completely comfortable with myself and my reasons when I do it. So, I've come up with the plan above so that I can feel that I've done what I needed to do and moving into my bed will be a continuation of that. It will also be easier to detach at that point because if our R goes S after that, it will be easier for me to accept that I've done all I can....if it finally ends and it ends bad, well then, there's nothing more I could have done.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
