Learning to trust myself III

[heatherg]

My counselor said that 2 years is pushing the outer limits and she would not recommend that I let it go farther than that. Two years was the goal I set. I decided that because even though it has been over a year since the A, most of that year has been spent with each of us pitted against the other. June 10 was supposed to be the date we appeared in court, so it has not been that long that things have been better. And, in all honesty, that is probably due to the fact that he has been gone, travelling for work for the majority of that time. And, even sooner than the court date, it has only been since about Aug 1 that we resolved our problem where I am now once again allowed to take my own children to daycare when H is home. If you can call it 'resolved'....H went out of town, so he had no choice and when he got home he didn't push to resume taking them. So, three months since our last major disagreement/fight. That is not very long.
And I mentioned the idea of setting aside a time to discuss the A so that we can try to get some of the actual problem out in the open instead of always dealing with the non-issues. I really feel that this is necessary, but since I mentioned it, he has been travelling so I haven't had a chance to actually try to implement the idea. As soon as he gets back, I will start that process.
My thoughts are that maybe some real healing can occur then and maybe we'll be able to move forward.
After all of this, if things still have not changed much, I think I will just have to do what I need to do.
Two years will be July. My counselor seems to agree that this has probably gone on too long, but she also commended me for acknowledging that most of the time has been spent in unproductive fight mode. Not much healing takes place in fight mode. I think we have gotten out of fight mode, so now it is my job to push forward with more positive stuff.