Geez, I wouldn't say I was 'arguing' anything. Just making an observation
I didn't say you were "arguing", I was putting forth your "argument", as in "supposition", as in "premise", as in "hypothesis", as in...
So with that being said, I have tried distance and I can rather say I don't like it and was just expressing my anxiety that it will have to be a life-long change.
Oh! Well... why didn't you just say so?????????????
It's about creating a climate where the distancing partner hopefully realizes why they distance themselves and works on their issues
And how, do you do that?
Become the distancer, and stay the distancer. Something stirs within Matt, hopefully, he starts to figure out what he really wants. It's the only time he's going to do it, since when he's the distancer he's self-absorbed and doesn't get focused on what's missing.
it is difficult to tell because the alchoholism muddied the water. Maybe the real reason H used alcohol was b/c he knew it would create distance.
That could happen.
You rationalize what you do, Heather.
Do I? Because... I was operating in a heightened state of defensiveness.....
