'Silence is Golden' is my new mantra. Often, I am not happy with anything that I say, so I've decided that I should say nothing in most cases.
When I come across a sitch where I feel like the heat is building and things are getting out of hand, I picture the big, red stop sign that MWD talks about in thought stopping. Later when I am calmed down and alone, I think about what I really want my response to be and hopefully can still present it at another time. If I start the convo in a respectful manner, I usually get the chance to present my point more calmly. It also gives me a chance to look at the sitch from other perspectives to see if my point is defensible.
Well, when things started going better between H and I, I was trying to be really detached. He seemed to respond well to that attitude. But then when we started getting along better, I opened up more.
Just a thought. What if you stayed detached and waited to see if H opened up to you and started calling you? Or maybe when you open up to him and call him he feels like you are encroaching in on his bubble? Maybe at this point H still needs "some space"?
Take care and keep going! Enjoy your family's visit.
