Heather, I can see how difficult daily life is for you right now, and if struggling with anger is an issue, your circumstances prob. really make it a challenge. I think it is awesome you are working so very hard on your M and are thinking of your kids as well. Re: having sex with your H the way you now are. That is your own choice I guess, but it seems you are having sex with him while he has no respect for you. Myself, I would have a hard time not feeling used. I don't know if continuing this is good for your M or not, but I wonder, is it really good for YOU? Having sex and not being allowed to sleep next to him? I don't understand that. And I don't see how the kissing or the sleeping next to one another can be a mental block related to the A, if having sex is not. Maybe it is me. But I could sleep next to a friend even. Without sex. So it seems like he can't see you as even a friend to me. So that is where I would hope you and your H could start. He has said he'd stay together for the kids, etc., right? Well, what if you tell him that for the kids, if you are to both being having years of daily life together, it would just be so much more comfortable and pleasant for you both to be friends? I personally, would try to establish and expect to be treated as a friend and would not have sex with him at all at this point. But that might just be me.
