Hi everyone. I have a question for those of you who've been doing this a long time and know what they're doing (lol). My husband has been home since May after an 8 month long separation and things have been going pretty well. I've noticed though that lately I'm struggling with fear again and when I get entrenched in fear it's very hard for me to act as if and to be positive, etc. etc. etc. I think maybe the fact that today is our wedding anniversary might have something to do with the fear too; like I'm very, VERY grateful he is here and we are still married, BUT I'm also afraid that it'll be our last anniversary and that there won't ever be another.
What I'm afraid of is that he'll leave again, and also I'm afraid of trusting him and then getting my heart broken. We have been looking for a marriage counselor (one that truly believes in saving marriages, not just allowing them to end just because there have been problems or separations) and we are due to start our sessions next week. I think that this is also something that is stirring up fear in me because although on paper it's a "good" thing, the last time we tried counseling it was a disaster and our final session ended with him saying he wanted a divorce. YIKES!
So, I guess I'm wondering how everyone keeps the fears and doubts at bay once their spouse comes home. It was very easy for me to do the DB-ing stuff while we were apart, but now that he's here in the house with me every day, it's tough to put on a happpy face when I really don't feel like it.
Thanks so much for listening and for any help you can give me everyone. I appreciate it.
