Love and Hugs via email from Texas to your family. Sorry to hear the bad news. I lost my father 5 yrs ago so I feel for you all. I pray the sit. improves.
Thanks everyone for the kind messages, I have an update:
I spoke to Andy on the telephone and he says that his father has improved quite a lot. He was breathing (although very laboured) and even managed to say a few words although he struggles to breathe if he tries to speak so they've told him not to speak.
The doctors plan is to put him on ventilation during the night and have him breathing on his own on 100% oxygen during the day, so that is what they are doing now.
We still don't know if he's going to pull through this but the fact he was talking is a major good sign.
Andy says the whole fiasco started a few weeks ago when his dad fell through a glass door (he's disabled and lost his balance) and he attained some nasty cuts to his head and legs. He recovered from this okay but then some ulcers developed on his leg where he had been cut and it made walking painful, so he just sat there in the house on his own and let it fester.
Because his immune system was down, the infection went to his chest and then developed into full blown pneumonia.
The poor man! If he recovers from this, I think he should get a home-help or someone to keep an eye on him as he's on his own, quite badly disabled (worse than me) and getting into his 60's. He's so staunchly independent, I don't think he would, though.
My own update: 18 days over, no bleeding, some pain when walking long distances, but no other symptom. I am starting to wonder what these dr's are talking about. Got my prescription for the pills but haven't taken any.
I just phoned Andy and he says that his dad has stopped being able to breathe again so they have ventilated him again and it is constant ventilation, all the time now, despite the fact he was a bit better earlier.
The infection has spread to his leg and they've got him on a cocktail of antibiotics. Andy tells me that they are talking about amputation if the leg doesn't get any better in the next few weeks.
I hope not; I know this sounds terrible but I would rather he died than had a leg removed, I would hate for that to happen to him
I asked to visit him but Andy says he's unconscious so there's no point. I tried to suggest to Andy that his dad was dying and I wanted to see him before he died, but he just snapped 'He's not dying, he'll get through this!'
I just said okay Andy, I'm sure he's a fighter, but secretly I was thinking I don't like his chances. I think Andy is blanking out how serious this situation is.
I am thinking of going to Andy's place on Sunday to do some chores for him and lighten the load a bit, but not sure yet.
I guess you were right, he isn't quite ready to have you be there for him. It's nice that he has you. Doesn't sound to hopeful, but my prayers, for what they are worth, are with you, Andy, and his dad. Hope everything turns out ok.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Well, I might be personally exhausted with my sitch but if I can't show empathy in a situation like this then I would be a callous bitch.
And no, I never expected that Andy would lean on me particularly; he's not given to admitting his emotions. Even in the M he insisted that he was always fine, no matter what, that he was the strong one, the big man.
I only ever saw him cry I think 4 times in the 14 years I knew him before we split up. The first time was when his grandmother died, second time when his great-grandmother died, third time when I was in agony with VS and he couldn't stand to see me suffering so he broke down, and the fourth time was when I had my first miscarriage.
That's all. He just hides his feelings all the time and puts this wall up even amongst people he loves. Sometimes his mother can get a little nearer, but rarely.
I am not sure if he would want my support since we are divorced now, but I'll stand in the background and be an anchor anyway, in case he starts to sink.
