Well I'm 13 days over and still waiting. I must be pregnant as I've NEVER been this late in my life except when pregnant.
Andy sent me a text message saying he'd be here in a minute. I didn't even know he was coming round so I phoned him and asked if he meant to send the text message to another woman.
He said no, it was meant for me and he was on the motorway on his way to me.
I said 'why?'
He said because he was getting DD4.
I said 'excuse me but you've just had her 5 days and I wasn't expecting you till next week.'
He said he didn't know the holiday was instead of the weekend contact (i.e, he wanted both) - this is AFTER giving my kids to EX-OW to look after instead of me. He said it would go back to usual schedule next week. Since he was already in the car and to be honest I am fed up of him, I couldn't be bothered to argue. I am so resigned to being treated like [censored] that I can't even get up the will to disagree with him.
He arrived and I told DD4 to go and put her shoes on. Andy asked me what I was up to. I just said housework. I said to him I hope he has a nice birthday tomorrow.
He said 'Er, actually, I'm probably not doing anything after all; can I talk to you on msn? That is, if you haven't blocked me.'
(I HAVE blocked him).
I said
'Why? Have your other women stood you up?'
He actually had the nerve to say 'yes'!!!!!!! He told me he was going to his mother's before. Another lie to add to my list. 'Which one was it?' I asked, 'EX-OW1 or 2?' He said 'Both.' So he was going to have a cosy tea party with both his ex-girlfriend's in favour of spending it with me and that was before I even dumped him. Bloody good job, if you ask me.
He said 'It's not like that.' Yeah, right. Even if he's not sleeping with them, he still chose both of them over me when he said he loved me, etc etc, so in my opinion that's still having an affair, it's an emotional affair with both of them.
I said once before what kind of life would I have with him if I'm always second best, always second choice, and this is exactly my point. This is why I just don't want to be with him anymore.
I think he was hoping if both of them turn him down, he could just come round here and have me spoil him. Well, I'm not going to be third choice. He didn't appreciate a good thing when he had it.
He said he'd speak to me later. I was thinking 'I have no intention of being on msn.'
Why does the father of my baby have to be a total wanker?
You are doing good Jo. I am proud of you staying strong to ex. Something new happened in my sitch, and I am beginning to realize that these ex's have to be brought to their knees like we were if we want a normal relationship with them again. Without any humbling, they will not be willing to learn new relationship skills. Reading your posts helps me and makes me look deeper into my own situation. Thanks.
I'm sorry that this is rough on you. It must be rough having these concerns while possibly expecting.
Yet I saw in your postings a backhanded effort to be reassured by XH. And as we have seen over and over, the WAS is very self-focused and usually drops the ball when asked to care for others. Who knows why he's choosing to behave the way he is? And who cares?
What matters is that you take impeccable care of yourself, leaving little if any need for reassurance from him.
I phoned Care Fertility Clinic and told them what is going on. I asked them if the 5 needles I had in August would stop my September period.
They said no.
I asked them if it was possible to get pregnant using condoms.
They said yes, pregnancy has occured using all contraception and the only 100% effective method is not having sex.
They said if I was 2 weeks late they would want to do a pregnancy test on me.
They told me to come in on Tuesday morning for a blood test and a scan to see what is going on.
I am scared. Andy is not speaking to me either because I sent him a copy of above post (minus references to pregnancy) and when I asked him to bring DD4 back early so he could watch her while I'm in the clinic, he didn't respond.
He's probably out partying with EX-OW.
I phoned my friend and asked her to watch DD4 instead. I didn't tell her the reason I am going in.
It's harder than anyone knows. I've been on a real downer today. I feel really guilty for stepping back from Andy, and I feel as if I'm in the wrong over his birthday, as if I've let him down, even though he didn't think of me and he still persists in his friendships with the OW at my expense.
I feel as if somehow I am to blame; like if I was a good enough wife he wouldn't behave like that. I know he loves me, and it confuses the hell out of me. I feel ashamed that I can't help him, that my love wasn't enough to enable him to have a normal R.
I even feel guilty for possibly being pregnant, because he doesn't want anymore children. I used contraception but nonetheless, I am dreading his response. It was after all, my body that accepted his sperm so I feel kind of responsible.
If I am pregnant, I am thrilled to be having a baby, but I don't think he will be. Either that or he'll go to the other extreme after she's born and try to take her like he did with DD4. I am scared and will be glad when I know one way or another, and when he knows so I can get it out the way.
I feel totally alone, sexually unattractive etc etc and I would just give anything for a man to give me a hug. I know there's you guys on here and you're all great but I reckon I need a real hug. Kind of difficult since I don't know any men. I just really need human touch. I suppose I'll have to get over that one since there aren't any obliging males nearby
I am dreading what will happen when X brings DD4 back tomorrow
I went to a friend's house tonight and had dinner with them because I thought I would go crazy if I had to sit by myself any longer. It helped a bit.
Jo, I'm curious.....are you worried that XH will take DD4 and not bring her back? Also, why do you let him take her at times other than the court appointed visitation schedule?
You can tell me to "bug off" if you want....I'm just curious.
but I reckon I need a real hug.