Hi Jo, One of the best books I've ever read was "Where Did I Come From?" It's a way to explain sex to little kids. It's very funny in that it has cartoon pics of mom and dad naked and making love. However, I really liked your version.....
Uh, Gabe, since my D is now 20, I'd be happy to send you the book........
How are you doing with all this? You're noting the days since you decided it was over, but what have you thought/felt about your R with Andy since then?
I wouldn't attempt to test until at least day 14 (as in the past I have false negatives before that time, and this would be pregnancy 8 if I am so I have experience).
Day 14 is Andy's birthday, though, so I'll wait until day 15 which means if I don't get a period by then, I will test on Monday.
That's a deep question, Gabe. I have thought frequently of the sitch between Andy and I ever since I told him it was over. In fact, I was already 1 day late when I told him that and I had this weird feeling that it wouldn't arrive, so at the time when I called it quits with him, I was aware of the possibility I may be pregnant. In some ways, it is one of the reasons why I did what I did, it was certainly a motivating factor to my feelings of hopelessness.
When he came round last time and looked at me with this 'ILY' look and hugged me, I felt really sentimental towards him, esp. if I am carrying his child, but it didn't alter the fact that I don't believe he will change his behaviour.
I was supposed to be looking after the kids while he was in college but after that phone call when I told him I couldn't go on seeing him, he got EX-OW to look after them instead of me, even though we'd already arranged it. I was so angry, I told him so. But my point is, he will always be like this with them and he just doesn't see me as their mother.
What kind of life would I have with him if he carried on like that about the kids? Never let me raise them, or give my opinion or think for myself or have any rights over them. If he can't be respectful, what kind of stable home environment could he create for me, the kids and possibly a new baby? I would be so unhappy. I'd be more of a housekeeper than his wife.
I want to get married but a new baby means I can't.
In the UK, fathers don't have any parenting rights at all unless they are married to the mother or they were married at the time of conception, or the mother has put their name on the birth certificate.
I went and got legal advice in case I am pregnant and they told me that because we were divorced at time of (possible) conception, he has no rights at all to the baby, not even visitation. He would have to apply for a parental rights order and to do that he needs my signature.
If we got back together and re-married, he would have the power to remove my children from me like he did with the others, and judging by the on/off behaviour of his, and his cold feet, there is just no trust there on my part that he wouldn't run off with them.
Don't get me wrong, I do love him. I always will, but I need to see concrete and lasting changes in him before I would contemplate a R with him, and I just don't believe he will.
He is acting as if he still thinks he can get me whenever he wants; he doesn't know just how hopeless I feel about the R.
PMA wise I am very good. I don't mind if I am pregnant or not, I can handle it. This might sound crazy to you, but I have a religious belief in reincarnation, so if I am, I believe it is the same child I lost in 03 (same soul, different body). Since we used contraception, I think if I do turn out to be pregnant, then it was God's will that I am.
If not, then not. I will carry on with my life the same as before.
I saw my friend Sam this morning. She's getting married to her American boyfriend and they set a date for 11 March next year, so we spent the morning talking about weddings.
Jo, I had to collect urine sampled to do drug test when I worked in the deliquent boy's grouphome. They tried all kinds of things to get the tests to read normal. I had the best success with "first pee of the morning" samples after they slept all night. You might want to do this with your home pregnancy test. The first pee urine sample seems to be more concentrated. My daughter had undeterminable results with one of her pregnancy test until she did the first thing in the morning. Then the test was easy to read.
DD4 was jumping off her child's chair right into my face and she accidently hit her face into mine, so I told her not to do that. She carried on doing it and nearly hit me again so I said (loudly) 'stop it'. She shouted right back 'If you don't stop shouting at me, I'm not doing anymore housework ever!'
I burst out laughing as she's 3 years old and doesn't do housework. I said 'DD4, you don't do any housework, you're a kid.' She said 'Yes I do, I put clothes in the washing machine and I wash the cupboards.' (It's true, she does help me put clothes in the washer and when I am washing the dishes, she asks to do it but I won't let her in case she breaks my china so I give her a cloth sometimes, with washing up liquid on it, and tell her to wash the cupboard doors! ).
I said 'Of course you do, DD4, I forgot about that, you're very good at washing the cupboards.' She was still mad at me, though, and got her toy vaccum cleaner and said 'If you don't let me jump, I will run you over with my vaccum cleaner.' Oh, I laughed even more at this (it reminded me of her dad trying to run me over when he was mad, LOL). I said 'DD4, that isn't very kind to me.' She carried on shouting so I said 'Please stop going on, DD4.'
With my last pregnancy, I had loads of trouble with threatened-miscarriage and I had to have loads of blood tests. When they confirmed it, they said I was only 2 weeks pregnant, as confirmed by serum - but the embryo was too small to even see on a scan because they tried that. I had to go in every few days for blood tests and I know I was about 5 weeks pregnant before my HCG levels were at 10 miu - which is the earliest a urine test can pick it up.
I would probably be about 4 weeks pregnant now, going by the 5 September ML date, so by my calculations, I don't think a urine test would work for at least a few more days.
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