Guys,

I've been dreading posting this so I'll start with the casual stuff.
Work has been great the last couple of days. I've been to the bank to sort some nice big cheques and this morning I was interviewed for 2 hours by a woman from Manchester University.

I talked and talked and talked about my work and gave her some free books. She's writing an article for a medical journal, hence her interview with me.

After we finished, we got chatting about home ed and unassisted birth for ages and she was fascinated.

Then my friend Magda phoned because channel 4 are doing a documentary on breast feeding and they want to speak to me. Magda said she'd give them a copy of my breast feeding book.
Magda runs an organisation similar to mine (there are only 2 in the UK, hers and mine) and funnily enough, she's Greek as well How about that for a coincidence? So we chatted on the phone for ages about my book.
I have to phone channel 4 in a minute

Now to the big thing I was dreading telling you.......drum roll please.....

Gabriel, you remember I emailed you part of my dream diary because I was concerned about the number of baby dreams I was having etc? I wanted your psychological imput.

Well, I think you were wrong. You threw me off the scent, there, Gabe!

I think I am pregnant.

There.

I said it.

And before you say anything, yes, we used a condom, it didn't split, and we only slept together once.
But nonetheless, I missed my period for September and it's now 10 days late and no sign of it.

I've also had other signs. I got the PMT type cramp when my period was supposed to be due, but no bleeding. I got the headache, which I normally get 1 day before, and then nothing happened so I started to get suspicious.

As I told Gabriel, I have been having all these weird baby dreams for several months now.

I have this ocassional pain in the top of my legs, like a pulled muscle type of pain which I got in all my previous pregnancies that the dr said was 'stretching pain' and I am drinking orange juice like it is going out of fashion.
All warning signs.

Remember that nightmare I had, when Andy handed me the baby and said 'this is our DD'? How could I not catch on!?
I've also had others where I'm on a bus and this voice says 'Everyone on the bus is pregnant.' - well, I was on the bloody bus in this dream! Then I saw pink baby booties.

I haven't done a test yet as we only had sex once and that was around the 5th or 6th September from what I remember, so at most I would only be 3 weeks pregnant, and no test will ever pick it up that early so I am waiting till next week before I test, but I think I already know the answer as I've never been 10 days overdue before.

Andy is getting a V this month. We were very careful after what happened last time, and those damn things are supposed to be 98% effective.

But I think I am on my way to motherhood again (and actually, now the idea is sinking in, I quite like it).

My due date from my last period date works out at 1st June 2006, but this is wrong as we didn't have sex till at least the 5th September so that would make my due date somewhere around 12th or 13th June.
13th June was the date I lost my last baby. So maybe she will come back to me on that same date.

Of course, I don't know 100% till I do the test, but I'm 80% sure.
If my dreams are correct, it's a girl, as the booties were pink.
I'm damn well not calling her Olympus, though!

Not sure where this leaves the whole 'dumping Andy' scenario? I'm not going to tell him for now, as he wouldn't be pleased. But if he doesn't want to know, I don't care. I am happy and will do this alone. It will be fun with 3 of us.

Jo.