I can tell.

Today I didn't work because my best friend called to say she had to cover for 2 classes and didn't have a babysitter for her 4 year old S, so she asked if I would look after him. I said yes. He and my DD are best of friends.

So she brought him round this morning and we built railway and I tidied DD4's room so they had more space to play.
Then DD4 asked to do her French so I had my friend's S4 singing 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes' in French!

X sent me a text message saying hi and what time he would arrive. I ignored it. I was thinking, I hope you're late so DD4 and friend's S4 have more time to play.

Much later on, he sent me another text saying 'I'm late as usual. I'll be there in a minute.'

I ignored that one too.

My friend had returned from her classes and collected her S before he got there, which was actually great.

Then he showed up, said hi (I didn't reply or look at him). I gave DD4 a gift bag with DD3's birthday card and present in (as she is 6 on 4th October). X asked what it was, so I told him. He didn't try to come in, thankfully, after what I said to him on the phone the other day.

He said he loved DD4's dress (it was really girly and flowery). I had dug out the most floral dress I could find as she's going to visit her great-grandma for the first time ever, and I trimmed her hair and cut her nails and made her look beautiful.

I told him that I found the dress especially for visiting great-grandma as there is no way she wouldn't approve of that.

He laughed and was all smiles at me and trying to make eye contact but I kept looking the other way.

Then I kissed DD4 goodbye, and he said goodbye to me and I shut the door.

I feel normal and not even upset.

Jo.