I'm in a great mood considering. It's much easier for WAW's as the grief/rejection isn't the same.
Yesterday I got a fat cheque through the post for that advertising I did and today I got a message from Chat magazine asking me to call them. They've accepted the article I wrote weeks and weeks ago, and it will be printed in January for the Feb 06 issue.
I can't remember, but I think I get paid about �100 for that one. It's not about health, either, it's in this section called 'Angels across the divide' and it's about dreams (my favourite hobby ).
I think Andy might have a cardiac arrest, though, as he and DD3 are mentioned in the article by name, LOL. I think I just won't tell him. He's not going to buy a women's mag, anyway. It's just if one of my relatives sees it, LOL.
I remember when I was pregnant with DD2, we hid it from the relatives. I concealed it and used to go round there at 7 and 8 months pregnant and they didn't know, and then I was in Best magazine and the prat of a journalist mentioned it.
Then a friend of a relative who'd seen my wedding photos (but never actually met me) saw my picture in this magazine and told my FIL I was pregnant. All hell broke loose, LOL, and they were like, why didn't you tell us, when are you due? I said, oh I'm due in like, 5 weeks.
Then FIL threatened to cut Andy out of his will, so I really hope some nosey friend doesn't show this article to Andy, or knowing him I'll get a solicitor's letter for mentioning him!
Being in the media is not easy with such a camera shy XH.
Very nice day at the office. Sounds like your spirits have picked up tremendously.
Know what I liked best about this post? It was about you. Nothing in it at all about getting XH back or more than a peripheral mention of him. That's the way it should be for a lot of us....they are not the focus of our lives.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I'm sorry about the hurricane. I'm also sorry you and XW are still struggling. I had thought you were getting on better.
Mine will try to seduce me now I have said I've had enough. I know him. It's not a question of if, but when, and I am dreading the moment when I have to refuse him to his face.
My book is still at press, but will be everywhere in approx 2 weeks. I have had a few pre-orders and my life coach got in touch because he'd seen the book on the net. I know he is ordering one, because his character is in it.
Today I didn't work because my best friend called to say she had to cover for 2 classes and didn't have a babysitter for her 4 year old S, so she asked if I would look after him. I said yes. He and my DD are best of friends.
So she brought him round this morning and we built railway and I tidied DD4's room so they had more space to play. Then DD4 asked to do her French so I had my friend's S4 singing 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes' in French!
X sent me a text message saying hi and what time he would arrive. I ignored it. I was thinking, I hope you're late so DD4 and friend's S4 have more time to play.
Much later on, he sent me another text saying 'I'm late as usual. I'll be there in a minute.'
I ignored that one too.
My friend had returned from her classes and collected her S before he got there, which was actually great.
Then he showed up, said hi (I didn't reply or look at him). I gave DD4 a gift bag with DD3's birthday card and present in (as she is 6 on 4th October). X asked what it was, so I told him. He didn't try to come in, thankfully, after what I said to him on the phone the other day.
He said he loved DD4's dress (it was really girly and flowery). I had dug out the most floral dress I could find as she's going to visit her great-grandma for the first time ever, and I trimmed her hair and cut her nails and made her look beautiful.
I told him that I found the dress especially for visiting great-grandma as there is no way she wouldn't approve of that.
He laughed and was all smiles at me and trying to make eye contact but I kept looking the other way.
Then I kissed DD4 goodbye, and he said goodbye to me and I shut the door.
I've been dreading posting this so I'll start with the casual stuff. Work has been great the last couple of days. I've been to the bank to sort some nice big cheques and this morning I was interviewed for 2 hours by a woman from Manchester University.
I talked and talked and talked about my work and gave her some free books. She's writing an article for a medical journal, hence her interview with me.
After we finished, we got chatting about home ed and unassisted birth for ages and she was fascinated.
Then my friend Magda phoned because channel 4 are doing a documentary on breast feeding and they want to speak to me. Magda said she'd give them a copy of my breast feeding book. Magda runs an organisation similar to mine (there are only 2 in the UK, hers and mine) and funnily enough, she's Greek as well How about that for a coincidence? So we chatted on the phone for ages about my book. I have to phone channel 4 in a minute
Now to the big thing I was dreading telling you.......drum roll please.....
Gabriel, you remember I emailed you part of my dream diary because I was concerned about the number of baby dreams I was having etc? I wanted your psychological imput.
Well, I think you were wrong. You threw me off the scent, there, Gabe!
I think I am pregnant.
There.
I said it.
And before you say anything, yes, we used a condom, it didn't split, and we only slept together once. But nonetheless, I missed my period for September and it's now 10 days late and no sign of it.
I've also had other signs. I got the PMT type cramp when my period was supposed to be due, but no bleeding. I got the headache, which I normally get 1 day before, and then nothing happened so I started to get suspicious.
As I told Gabriel, I have been having all these weird baby dreams for several months now.
I have this ocassional pain in the top of my legs, like a pulled muscle type of pain which I got in all my previous pregnancies that the dr said was 'stretching pain' and I am drinking orange juice like it is going out of fashion. All warning signs.
Remember that nightmare I had, when Andy handed me the baby and said 'this is our DD'? How could I not catch on!? I've also had others where I'm on a bus and this voice says 'Everyone on the bus is pregnant.' - well, I was on the bloody bus in this dream! Then I saw pink baby booties.
I haven't done a test yet as we only had sex once and that was around the 5th or 6th September from what I remember, so at most I would only be 3 weeks pregnant, and no test will ever pick it up that early so I am waiting till next week before I test, but I think I already know the answer as I've never been 10 days overdue before.
Andy is getting a V this month. We were very careful after what happened last time, and those damn things are supposed to be 98% effective.
But I think I am on my way to motherhood again (and actually, now the idea is sinking in, I quite like it).
My due date from my last period date works out at 1st June 2006, but this is wrong as we didn't have sex till at least the 5th September so that would make my due date somewhere around 12th or 13th June. 13th June was the date I lost my last baby. So maybe she will come back to me on that same date.
Of course, I don't know 100% till I do the test, but I'm 80% sure. If my dreams are correct, it's a girl, as the booties were pink. I'm damn well not calling her Olympus, though!
Not sure where this leaves the whole 'dumping Andy' scenario? I'm not going to tell him for now, as he wouldn't be pleased. But if he doesn't want to know, I don't care. I am happy and will do this alone. It will be fun with 3 of us.
).
