Geek, I am an HD woman and still don't like initiating. I want a man who comes after me, plain and simple. It enhances the experience a TON, in a way that me initiating just doesn't.
Your wife is giving you some valuable info--that you initiating turns her on and she prefers it that way. I realize you have an initiation aversion but you may have to find ways to work around that, rather than finding ways to justify why she should do 100% of the initiating.
A strong, confident, horny man turns women on. It's really that simple.
She doesn't want (and I imagine most women don't) a wimpy, half assed initiation, rife with timidity and hesitancy.
I know it's hard for you but could you try something different for two weeks and guage the results? Try initiating forcefully--think in your mind "I'm not taking no for an answer"--and see how it goes. I'm not suggesting you rape her, just that thinking forceful thoughts will help you get in the correct frame of mind. Then when your natural fears temper it a bit, it will be the perfect blend of gentlemanly horny assertiveness that the romance novel fellas pull off w/o a hitch.
