Quote: How do you get men to talk about their feelings?
Some are so private that this is impossible. Some have "pre conceived notions" on how they should behave, say, do.
Don't let him get away with it. You have to push for an answer. Try the "blonde" approach. "I don't understand. What did you mean by saying xyz, by doing abc, why do you sleep on the sofa? Is the bed too hard? Should we go shopping for a new matteress? (I like the pull out sofa idea, but keep in mind it hasnt worked for me.)
Be prepared to learn things about what your standing is in his mind. EG: I had sex that hurt in '87, last year I was told that he didnt want to hurt me. Well that was pure bunk as that was taken care of with the gyn way back then. You may be supprised on some of the answers you get.
Your sitch is hard on me, as H thru out his back 23 years ago and slept in the LR for 10 years claiming the bed was too soft. I got the firmest matteress I could find and put plywood between the matteress and springs, that was still too soft. When we got to this house. He rolled over and a sleeping arm clobbered me. I was almost in tears for no good night kisses even in a new home. No dreams, goals for this new place. So...I came dn stairs to the sofa, and have been here for the last 13 years, I now make myself comfortable and pull it out and enjoy the almost queen size.
Push your H. Get him to tell you why he wont join you...(I like Lou's approach clean the room and pile things on the sofa see what happens for a few days...)
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
