Quote: I have finally gotten over the "It's my fault, as I am aging and not fetching enough". I have finally stopped taking the blame and am trying to come to grips with it will never happen again.....
That's right. It is not your fault. The end of that statement though is very defeatist sounding and that's when you get into dangerous territory. You don't sound happy at all with the thought of just giving up so why even consider that option? You deserve more out of your M. Keep the bar set high. If you lower it, your H will assume things are ok. "Well, she hasn't complained so she must be content." More likely, you would just be emotionally checked out of the M. You sound far from that at this point. No real words of advise, just keep plugging away.
