W 54 enjoyed "teasing" and bed play, H 67previously married I had been thankful that HW1 freed him for me, M26yr, D,M 23.
Things I've learned in the last 2 years. He has no liking for any touch. I've rubbed his back with oils and such for about 45 min, (I have no idea how a professional massuse can maintain massage for as long as they do!) And he stood up and dressed without even so much as eye contact and a "thanks". I now know his sexual response is once a month is enough,(that was when he was 20 and he had read that somewhere) He is now ED, be it cold water due to a plane accident, alcohol or smoking...who knows but ED. His response to my question "And in your mind, what was I suposed to be doing as you were wallowing in your manly discomfort" was "I dunno, I never thought about it."
I have finally gotten over the "It's my fault, as I am aging and not fetching enough". I have finally stopped taking the blame and am trying to come to grips with it will never happen again.....
I pushed him into "attentions" which were hard, driven, like a porn film. I have begged him to lay with me while watching TV on the pull-out sofa. It feels restful to have him there "watching, guarding" like having an outlook and you can sleep deeper. Those were out "dates" 2 weeks in a row. That stopped too.
.....
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
