Bear with me My ride..Part 2... Still need advice.

[my_rollercoaster_ride]

bf & GEL thank you both for your words. I definately know that proceeding with caution is the right choice for me. I have been through so much hurt from this whole sitch in the past 18 months than I can bear to go through again. He has already proven to me that he can and would walk away and I have only proven to him that I love him and welcome him back. I had a long conversation with myself and as much hurt as I have gone through I honestly do not want to go through the same thing again. I feel that continuing counseling will hopefully help resolve all the unresolved issues we still face. I also think that 6 months down the road and he decides to go down this same path about leaving, I am not sure I will be welcoming him back again. There is only so much a heart can take and twice is already 2 times too many. I realized my need to move cautiously about his revelation yesterday. He actually sent me a text message on my phone saying "I love you:-x"
That was surprising from him but it felt good for me and gave me a glimmer of hope. Later last night we were talking and he said that part of him still wanted the freedom and he was afraid that he spoke too soon. He then back tracked and said he was sincerely going to try on our R and fight back those feelings. Then told me how much he loved me. In my mind... Big Giant Caution Sign... flashing and warning to proceed slowly. One day at a time. Continue with my ride and pray for the best. I just sometimes feel like this is all just a game. No winner, no loser. Just keep on playing. I know he is going through some internal things right now that do not really have anything to do with me. I can't fix it or change it. Those are things I guess that he has to deal with and all I can do is try to be supportive. His Bday is next week. For the guy in a MLC, he is not looking forward to it. I am confused about the fact that you both mentioned him needing to gain control of the relationship? Isnt he already? I am the one having to deal with what he decides will happen. Stay or leave. Counseling or no counseling. He decided to leave, and then return. I feel like the one jumping through hoops.