I guess it is just difficult for me to understand what he is feeling when it is hurting me so much. I know I need to just accept the fact that maybe there is nothing I can do to fix this and that it may not have anything to do with me at all
Though I do think it important that you accept this may not be about you. It can be fixed as long as you both work on it. With only one of you working on it progress will be slow to nil. But others spouses here have jumped aboard the fix it boat in time so it can happen. You just may feel like you are doing nothing but treading water for awhile.
I really do not find very many sitch hopeless. So please do not think I am implying that your sitch is. I just think it would be better for you to step back a little from all beating yourself up over the sitch you are doing. You are wearing your self out with it. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, Your pain makes me feel sad for you and for my H. I am sure he is going through much of the same emotions you are.
