I gave the details of this in my other thread, but I will give you a brief summary. The whole fantasy thing did not come into play until we started counseling. Obviously there were issues since we were in counseling. My H has been in, as decribed by therapist, a MLC. This has been going on for well over a year. We have not ever had a lot of arguments about much of anything. In the words of my husband during one of our sessions, We reached all our goals. Kids grew up to be great young men, successful careers, got the dream house etc... Now what.His thoughts about all of the things he missed from youth and the other road. He wants time and space and says he is unsure of what he wants anymore. Says he still loves me and does not want to hurt me, just not "in" love. We just have started going to counseling this past month after he rented an apartment and left. He was gone for about a week and came back saying he was sorry and wanted to try to work on our R. Found the counselor that we are now seeing. I realize that changes do not happen over night. Nor do I expect them to. Effort yes. I guess I do expect that. Sometimes I just feel like he is going more through the motions to say he tried. Those are my words and my feelings. I could be completely wrong. I analize everything. I know I should probably throw it out there on the table and just say that this is how I am feeling and probably will in our session tomorrow. I guess I do know the answer to my own question, I just wonder if I am strong enough to deal with the answer right now. These damned emotions of mine get the best of me sometimes. I seem to be my own worse enemy. Why does he want out? He says he does not even know. Somedays he does and others he does'nt. Why do I want him so bad? Because I truly do love him. Good bad and ugly. I still love him very deeply. I don't have any wrongs to make right. I have a relationship that is broken right now. I am sure there are mistakes, but no affairs or abuse in any way. May be if he would give me something that he needs to make me a better wife, but says I am the perfect wife and mother. That he just is not sure of himself. I can't fix or change that can I? I have given him more space and time alone. I have listened to him more and talked less. Tried to not wear my emotions on my sleeves. I try to not push any issues that he seems unwilling to talk about. I did however put an end to the whole fantasy into a reality thing. I am unwilling to go there and not at all comfortable with acting that out. It has not been brought up again.
Its not about getting what you want, its about wanting what you already have.
