Quote: I guess I am afraid to say that to him or the counselor
For the amount of money you (or your insurer) pays to a counselor, you MUST tell them the truth. If you tell no one else in the world the truth, tell your therapist. If you don't feel you can quite tell all with your H in the room, then go to the therapist alone.
There are definitely some things here that are confusing. You said in your original post that you were very private and had a hard time opening up, even here. This board is 100% anonymous, so you can say anything you want to here. All of us have been in icky situations.
You said you and H had good wild sex for years until he hit the midlife wall, rented an apt, bought a Mercedes, and wanted to share you with another man.
But he has never lived in the apartment? Is that right? I'm gathering finances are not an issue. Is he spending money like it's going out of style and this alarms you?
I hear you becoming overwhelmed with the sitch and just wanting to throw your hands up-- anything to avoid feeling this bad. Unfortunately, the only way out of this is through it. I think it might do you worlds of good to see the counselor on your own for a while if only so you can get all of your feelings out on the table where you can see them.
Did some actual EVENT precipitate the apartment renting and the Mercedes buying... did he meet someone? get a disturbing medical diagnosis? have a close family member pass away?
We hear your frustration and confusion... see if you can work in some concrete specifics. It's hard to picture that he would suggest a threesome out of the clear blue sky and decide to up and leave because you won't do this one thing.
