Steady and big progress; Yet....

[doctorcue]

Hey Slowly,

Thank you for your reply. The past four days have been good. We are about 95% done moving all of "our" stuff in the apartment. No fights, no quietness, just lots of time together. Before when she intially stated she wanted to be there, we talked about redecorating, but dropped it when we realized we were moving too fast. Now we are actually in the process of doing that. We'll be painting the apartment next weekend. Figure that is a good bonding thing to bring us together. We both talk about the new start.

This past Saturday after we moved a bunch of stuff in, we attended an anniversary party of one of my friends. When my wife was getting ready, I could see she was upset. Somewhat because of her hair, but something else. She wouldn't admit anything, but just sat on the couch for a little bit. I took this opportunity to address "What if someone asks you about us?" At that point she started to cry so I just held her hand and asked her the same question. Yet, I said to answer me. She told me that it feels right. She wants to work on us and make it right. I just listened to her and gave her some hugs while she let her emotions flow. I told I agreed with everything she said and that she should tell anyone who so rudely could ask the same answer. Afterwards, I cracked some jokes to lighten up the mood. We had a good, although short, time at the party.

Since then, we have just been straightening up the apartment. Sorting through various boxes and such. Monday morning was cool as we kissed each other good-bye, I said how cool it is that I'll be returning to her that night. She had a nice glowing smile. That felt good. We have since bought tickets for some events in the future. Lion King play in February. We have talked about getting away for our 5th anniversary next May.

So we have made some steps in the right direction. Just as Dogma has posted, I have had to exhibit a ton of Patience. Things aren't the same, but I know they won't be. Not all of the closeness I desire, but getting there. One of my main concerns is that the OM continues to text message her. I assume it is mutual, but I can't allow myself to be consumed by it. I just wonder when it will die. Or is this the pattern we'll always exhibit? This isn't the first EA my wife has had.

I want to go back to counseling, but I am not sure how to bring it up. If I do it now, I may make things bad/uncomfortable for a while. If I wait too long, then perhaps it will have the wrong effect. Should I recommend reading the DR book to her? She started reading the LL book, but I'm not sure that she finished it.

So I'm just continuing to enjoy the days. Go to work, workout at the gym, & return home to the wife. Ah the days... crazy ain't it?