"You can CHOOSE to have these feelings about yourself in a vacuum, if you so desire." That is just what I don't get yet. I can intellectually process it and see that it is true because I can see others around me as living, breathing examples that it is possible. But my emotions just can't seem to process it. I am just not able to emotionally feel like a good person without someone else agreeing with me. OW agreed with me and it was awesome. W either doesn't agree with me (probably not true) or just doesn't show it (probably because I don't let her or I am not hearing her).
"Find another counselor, print out your last post, and tell him/her that's what you want to work on. The fact that you can't get in to see this one IMHO is a message direct from God that this is not the C for you." I will definitely collate all the information I have gained here and take it with me to my next appointment, whenever that is. You guys have all been very helpful to me. The bad thing is that this C is free, which is important given the degree of my diaper bills at this time. Also, there really isn't anyone near where I live that I can trust. Remember, I am in enemy territory if the EA ever gets out.
"Stop dwelling on the A" Some days it is easier than others. I feel like the easier days are slowly becoming more prevalent.
"ENJOY your family!!!" Well, other than the R with the W, I do. I haver recently begen to feel a real connection with D2^2, and there is just something awesome about holding a sleeping infant in your arms for hours. Good for the soul. And when S<1 is awake, I love to just watch him looking around soaking it all in.
"Take a break from this board, too... although I KNOW how hard that is, esp when everyone is so invested in your sitch. But GAL for a while." I am at a somewhat slow point in my work now. When it ramps up, you guys will probably not see me for long stretches. And I know you will miss me terribly, me being such the interesting guy that I am. If I'm not here, the number of posts will probably be cut in two.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
