Maybe LFL learned she was not unlikeable? Maybe she learned she could have a better with her H? Maybe she learned she could insist her H pay more attention her? That is what I was referring to as a benefit of the A. That's exactly how I feel Og_Lou. I think people with low self-esteem or just someone who has been M to someone for many years without a strong sexual/emotional connection can almost forget that they CAN be desired, attractive, sexy etc. You start to be conditioned that you are NOT a sexual human being. You feel like you want to be, maybe even think you are, but you have no proof. And who would want me anyways? I feel totally the opposite now! That is very powerful. I feel like I am a totally different person and yes, my H likes me better. Would I haven't gotten to this place without the OM. No way. If H decided to come back after our C and I never had the R with OM, I almost guarantee we would go back to the old ways of the M. I needed that confidence I found by dating someone else. I know that sounds strange to some of you but that is what I needed for ME. Is that weak? Maybe. But I don't feel weak now. There is nothing worse than a feeling of desperation, whether it to save a M, or something else. I don't feel desperate anymore. That is POWERFUL. Like Blackfoot said, I need to have the house blow down before rebuilding something better. Sure, the old "furnishings" and "memories" are gone, but they weren't that great to begin with. Now we have something so much better.
