Quote: They are terribly destuctive to peoples lives. They destroy families, many times lives, and often go untreated in most cases leaving lifetime emotional scars. The lessons learned, good gained, from them could be achieved in other ways
I am not advocating for A's. Yes they are bad. Just like the cold experiments were very bad. they never should have happened.
What I am saying is people learn from the mistakes of A's and might have some good things from an A that they can bring foward to their R.
I will use your W's A. You learned not to bring a close friend into your M. It is destructive. Maybe LFL learned she was not unlikeable? Maybe she learned she could have a better with her H? Maybe she learned she could insist her H pay more attention her? That is what I was referring to as a benefit of the A.
10 years ago, I would have thought me posting on the board was something like cheating or at least betraying BB. Look where that line of thinking has gotten me. Thinking some R just go sour gradually till someone leaves. I thought most older women were past being interested in sex and most women wanted security or things from a man. I will guit with what I thought women wanted. I don't want to paint a negative picture.
Reading and posting on this site has changed my opinion of men and women for the better.
So I am not pro A, just learning to look at some things differently. People are going to continue to have them, so lets ssee all of the bad and the little good that comes from A's and label or judge it as such. If I had a way to prevent A's and fix R's, then I would say all parts of A's are bad.
I agree The lessons learned, good gained, from them could be achieved in other ways.
