Quote: As for Mrs. Bube going off on a rant, it may be helpful to calmly keep repeating that you are willing to talk about that at another time, but bring the conversation back to the original topic.
That sounds good in theory, but it doesn’t work in practice. When she starts the rant, all incoming calls are put on hold. Or maybe sent to voicemail. She doesn’t listen. I could say anything, and I have tried the calm redirect, but she isn’t listening. I don’t mean not responding either. I have asked her later and she doesn’t have a clue what I said to her. These are bona fide rants where the vitriol just comes spewing out with such force that nothing can get in. You can listen or leave. There is no option for continuation of the convo.
HP,
Quote: I'm not asking that you have no animals, only that we come to a decision--as a family--on how many animals we will have and what role they will play in our lives. Currently you are making that decision for all of us and we'd like a little more input.
OK, I know that I’m sounding like a defeatist here, but I don’t see us ever coming to an agreement here. We’ve had this convo more times than I can count. Even before she started running our own personal animal shelter, we had lots of convos about the animal population. We would (ostensibly) agree that we had enough (too many) and that we (she) wouldn’t get any more until one or more died. Then she would get another one. I already told you about the Dalmatian incident, but there are at least three or four very similar stories. Did I tell you about the time she flew to visit her family for a couple of weeks? She called shortly before coming home and asked me if we wanted a dog or a cat. I said neither and explained that we had a small house and already had enough animals. She was unhappy, but she agreed. Yeah, right. When I picked her up at the airport, here she came with a dog carrier.
The point is that she’ll never agree. She may verbally agree, just to keep the peace. But she’ll still do as she pleases. This requires action. Next time she drags home another one after agreeing not to, I need to strap on a pair and take it back. It’s just really hard for me to take it back when “back” is the pound and certain death. Like I said before, I can leave them there, but I’m too soft to take them.
