I really appreciate the offer to email you, but I think I’ll just post a semi-change of subject here for all to see.
I don’t know what’s going on with me, but there are lots of changes. In a way, I feel like I’m headed where Honeypot has been, but in another, I’m not there at all. As you know, I’ve felt that things were going pretty well and were still headed in the right direction until just recently. The past three or four months, W has gotten deeper and deeper into the animal thing and our SL has gone into the dumper. Along with the SL, my desire and EC have gone into a tailspin as well. I’ve told you before that W and I have always been affectionate, just that the affection never translated into ML. Well that’s becoming less and less the case all the time. As W has increased her involvement in her cause and as our SL has headed into the toilet, I’ve just completely lost interest. I enjoy talking to W and I like her company, but I have no interest in, for lack of a better word, romance. I don’t want to come up behind her and give her that little squeeze. I don’t want to hold her hand. I don’t want to touch her when we’re in bed. There’s no acrimony that I’m aware of. There are no bad feelings. There are really no feelings. I’m simply not interested.
The same attitude extends to sex. She has initiated the last three times, including this morning. All three times I have obliged, but I really wasn’t interested. I’m so disinterested that I’ve had a hard time getting an E. I’ve gone through the motions of stimulating her. I’ve given her oral and she has had her Os, but I’ve been flaccid the whole time. It really has felt just like I’ve described it: going through the motions. It’s taken sustained direct stimulation to get the E, and the last time, I even started to lose it while we were ML. Today, it wasn’t happening at all. There is no physical problem, I can get an E and have no problem if I MB, but with her – nothing. So what’s going on here?
Now for the really weird part. Since all this has begun to transpire, I feel like our R has improved a good bit. I’m not much good at self-analysis, but I think that my lack of interest in sex has just taken a lot of the stress and pressure off of me. Before, I was a bit like CeMar: always trying to figure out how to get W to ML and like it. It colored almost every aspect of our R. Now, that’s all gone. I don’t want it. I don’t try, so she doesn’t turn me down or half-heartedly comply and I don’t get resentful.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not happy that W devotes so much of herself to the animals and significantly less to me or the kids. I still think the animal thing is out of control. But this post is more about me. I’ll be leaving in an hour or so and probably won’t check back until Monday, so ruminate and give me some thoughtful answers. What’s going on and what should I be doing about it?
