Can you write a letter if you feel like you can't keep it calm during a conversation?
Another thing re: conflict avoidance. Look at it this way. What if your wife was saying to herself "I know I need to stop being a vindictive b*tch who withholds intimacy but I've got 30 years of inertia propelling me along this path."
What would your thoughts be about that line of thinking?
Does that help you in making a change in yourself..to consider another person thinking exactly the same way and to remember how maddening it is? Just throwing some thoughts out for you.
I'm pulling for you so strongly since you are my sort-of brother in law. (MrH's long lost and all that.)
