You really need to stand up to her about bringing more animals home. I can certainly understand not wanting to send the animals back once they are there.....BUT having said that. There is no reason you that you shouldn't stand up to her when she does this...and say, this is it!!! No more animals, period. Bub, these animals are a point of contention and respect.
I've also got to say this....your statement of (I’m still a conflict avoider at heart) makes it sound like, ok guys...remember I'm a conflict avoider here, so this is why I don't stand up for myself.
You sound like you are using the fact that you are a conflict avoider as an excuse for not standing up for yourself....as a reason to not stand up for yourself. Do you really want to be THAT man?
On other threads we've discussed what women find attractive. Zbub...women don't find men attractive who let them walk all over them, your W (and her animals) are walking all over you. She's not likely to respect you if you don't start standing your ground.
YOU have the ability to make a decisive paradigm shift in your R. But you are going to have to stand firm on it. Let her know that if she crosses the boundary on bringing animals home what will happen....(if it were me, I'd make her take them back, but that's just what I would do).
You've got to start talking to her and saying the things you say on here to her.
You've got to start letting her know where you feel you fit in her life.
You've got to let her know you don't feel a priority.
You've got to draw boundaries, it's your life & M too!
You have this in you ZBube!! We all know you do, you just have to decide to do it.
