ZB, people keep mentioning your affair and how it's time to let go of the guilt from that... but didn't you also actually divorce Mrs ZB and then re-marry? Or did I get that wrong? To me this is the big atomic bomb crater in the middle of the room.
That's a HUGE big deal... bigger even, than the affair. To dissolve the marriage--yikes! I mean, they go hand in hand, but if the A was burning the house down, the D was burning down the neighborhood, knocking down the telephone poles, and poisoning the wells. And it's not like you got back together because of both of you coming to your senses and forgiving, etc.--you came back out of guilt. How could anything grow in that rocky soil?
IMHO you played the big card back then, and if you make noises like you might leave again, she can fold her arms across her chest, look you in the eye, and say BTDT. To me the D sealed your fate even more than the A.
I did read an interesting quote yesterday about guilt... it was something like that by continuing to hold onto guilt, we sometimes feel that we are continuing to atone. But of course, that isn't true.
If I've mixed up your story with someone else's and you didn't get divorced and remarried, then I will just smear all of this egg all over my face and let all of y'all's dogs happily lick it off.
