MrsNOP, I have to disagree on the Why do you want to ML...question.
I believe it is a valid and productive question. At some point in the progression of the HD partner, they sink lower and lower in an attempt to right the sexual wrongs of the marriage. The strange thing is...they do not even realize they're doing this. One day you wake up and think, Have I *really* been doing this? Why?
Clearly, people who consistently pursue sex with a person who does not reciprocate do not respect themselves. In that regard, it is wise to ask yourself the above question and get to work establishing more balance in the M and, in the process, respecting yourself once again.
It is a terrible dynamic: The LD partner doesn't respect the HD partner and the HD partner doesn't respect the HD partner. What a crappy setup! Anything that obliterates that way of thinking is a good thing, in my book.
I don't believe that question is a good one to endlessly ponder over--that aint gonna getcha anywhere--but to throw it out on the table and let it worm its way into your brain and help restore respect--yes that is putting it to good use.
