ok AR, relax I am not trying to out you, you misunderstood what it is I was asking of you. it doesnt matter to me who you secifically are.

just need to know about you

the playing video games and software devleoper, etc
is good it gives me a general idea. I was a big xbox online fan for awhile, halo, halo2, etc.

I did it for relaxation, cheap entertainment, and way to virtually hang with some of my friends who are in your biz scattered across the US.

My x did not find it attractive. In fact at one point in our first seperation she blamed it for our D.

seriously how much time would I have to spend on it for it to have a impact on a R. Is what she said logical?
Did I sit down and talk about it with her, try to reason, and explain why I did it and how I would try to do better the next time? NO

I laughed at her and told her to take some responsibility quit blaming other things.

Crazy thing to do, if I wanted to get back together right?
Well at this time I had my balls firmly back in place and was able to say these things without resentment or anger, and call Sh!T when I saw SH!t. we were back together, 2 weeks after this particular exchange. there were many more seemingly crazy things like this that I did during this time that make no logical sense, dont seem like the 'NICE' thing to do.
But they are the right thing to do when dealing with a woman.

you know about yourself, men, that we have no control over our attraction to women. put a naked shaking a$$ in front of us and we become mesmerized. We control what we do about it, can tear our eyes away from it even, but it is enjoyable, you dont have to think --I should like that.-- you just do. even if you wish you didnt LOL.

women have this same attraction in them but it isnt a mans wiggling butt, or big arms. its personality traits and social value. Social value can overwhelm them in the beginning i.e. women fainting at the beatles or screaming at the sight of tom cruise, and I suspect it may have had a small part of your w initial attraction.

but if he ends up being a wuss after that it slowly, irrevocably shuts it off.

Your wife loves you, and is there with you still, you dont have to compete with OM or try to win her back.
You just have to learn what the attractive personality traits are, implement them in yourselfr. the ones that are not, this is actually even more important get rid of as much as possible. And then the ML will slowly take care of itself.