Cin, when you got married, you were a certain way. That was what your H signed on for. That was the deal you and he made. Then you changed... and grew... and started to like yourself and be happy and go after happiness.

You broke the agreement... you invited him to step up to the new level with you and he has declined. By changing, you have pushed him way outside his comfort zone.

Ask yourself, how is he with change in other areas in general-- house, job, etc.?

Do you see him making any attempts to relate to the new you (the Real You)?

When change presents itself (or hits him in the head with a brick), does he make a fuss at first and then adjust, or does he fight it tooth and nail and never give in?

What about the financial problems?

What about his drinking? Any changes in these areas?

Can you list the positives and negatives about looking at a future with him? What's your prognosis for him?

It could be, too, that leaving will be the final thing that makes him see that he has to get with the program.