I am trying to take your advice. It is one of those things that really never has been in my nature to take care of myself. I have always been the one taking care of everyone else. I am going out with friends tonight. Our MC had suggested that we spend a whole day together doing somethings together. This has been an issue, the spending time together thing. We both have very demanding jobs and in the past we had always made time for "us" by taking a day off together in the past. Since the whole MLC thing started about 18 months ago, we just don't. We had both decided last week that we would both take this Saturday off. I am usually off on Friday and Saturday and he has alot of flexibility with his schedule. Well of course this is Friday and I am off. This morning he informed me that he would have to work tomorrow. I just told him that was okay, I understood and left it at that. Reality I am a bit disappointed. He said maybe we could just go out to dinner tonight instead. I had already made plans for tonight. In my mind I was very tempted to cancel my plans and tell H okay. But I didn't. I told him that I had already promised to go with a few friends to a karaoke place where one is singing in a contest. I keep wondering if I am going about this the right way. We have had some very confusing conversations in our 15 minute talk therapy. Has anyone ever felt like you just want this to be over. I don't even know what normal is anymore except I do not live any where close to normal anymore. Just venting.


Its not about getting what you want, its about wanting what you already have.