Roller, I sense the panic in your voice.... I know you feel that your world has been turned upside down and that you're questioning so many things from the recent and distant past. I feel that you're in the middle of a storm and things are just flying around your head-- like in The Wizard of Oz when the house got lifted up and everything was whirling around Dorothy's head. She didn't know where the house was going to come down, and when it did, she only knew one thing for sure: "We're not in Kansas anymore."
I would suggest for openers that you remind yourself that this sitch didn't develop overnight, and it's not going to be resolved overnight. That might relieve some of the urgency associated with feeling that you need to have answers now.
I know you're shaken to your core, but you will survive this. You're in free fall, and it's scary, but you will find your way out of this. Did you mention that y'all are seeing a counselor? Can you book in between sessions just for yourself so you can find some firm ground to stand on just for you?
One thing to remember: if you're feeling crazy, it's for a good reason. I feel that one of the reasons you're so unsettled is that in your gut you know you don't have all the facts. There's part of the picture that you are not seeing. I believe that's where the "crazy" feeling is coming from, apart from the general upset.
If you had to single out the one most disturbing and unsettling thing that you're having to deal with at the moment, what would it be? Just one.
