Okay well here goes. My husband and I have been married for about 6 years. We lived together for 3 years prior to marriage and have known each other for about 12. Everything seemed to be great in our life. Out of the blue last year he started acting differently. Started buying alot of new clothes hanging out with single male friends. He told me he was moving out. That he need to be alone. He rented an apartment. I was devastated. To me this all came out of the blue although I can now look back and see the signs. He never did move out last year. Canceled his lease and said that we could work this out. He was sorry for acting like an idiot. His words. My youngest son graduated from high school last year. Thats around the time alot of his actions happened. It was kind of like, okay the kids are grown now what. Well even though he stayed, things really did not change.He has become very concerned about his looks i.e. the gray hairs etc. He spends more money than we can afford. He Had to trade in his truck to get a Mercedes. Sex has become non existant between us. Once a month if that. He is very self conscience about this. When we do have sex it is great. He does seem to have issues with stamina as far as maintaining an erection.

Well then this summer it was like replying the whole situation from last summer. He rented an apartment. Told me he wanted a divorce. Told me he wanted to be alone.
Told me that it had nothing to do with me, that he just did not know who he was or what he wanted anymore.Said he loved me he just did not feel immortal any longer. Then he left. Once again I was devastated. Depressed, angry, hurt. A few days later he was back. Once again telling me he was sorry that he wanted to try to work on us. Of course I let him come back. This all has taken place starting at the beginning of August. We started going to counseling. We have only been 3 times. We have had some amazing sex in the past couple weeks. During one of our communication exercises ( you know he gets 15 minutes to say any thing while listen then I do the same) he started talking about wanting to watch me have sex with another man. I listened but I guess I thought he was just sharing a fantasy with me. Well that night I made him watch himself have sex with me. Lights on eyes wide open. This did seem to be a huge turn on for him. Me too for that matter. Then he started talking about this fantasy while we were having sex. And afterwords. Wanting me to commit to doing this. Saying that this would be the best thing for both of us. I told him I would think about it. In the mean time we are still going through the whole marriage problem scene. One day he says eveything is going well for him the next day the alien returns and wants to leave. I give him his space and have followed the advice of our therapist as well as some of the advice in the book. Everything seems to be helping us and then BOOM. Back on the rollercoaster.

Its not about getting what you want, its about wanting what you already have.