IMPO it's really not all that uncommon that your W knows what needs to be done...but is comfy in her resentment. My LDH also admits to knowing what it is I need, and what he needs to do....but wouldn't take action until I made it quite clear, I would leave the situation and that I didn't trust he'd follow through on anything.
NOW he's making some changes. Give your W some time, remember at least you are both at the C's office now together. As you said, baby steps.
