Had a good weekend! H went and didn't complain about going. He did say that he didn't really want to go and when my friend came down her bf didn't. I simply said that he was doing some home maintenance and it was the only day his buddy could help, and that I knew that he didn't really want to go but I wanted him to and to please do it for me. It worked!

He was actually showing some affection toward me while we were there! Put his hand on my leg a few times and put his arm around me! Baby steps right!

Still struggling with the comments. My friend was talking about her D's friend who had just moved to where ff/ow lives and maybe letting her go visit her for fall break. I made a couple of comments about there was nothing in that state to see and there was no reason to go there! I'm sure h knew what I was saying and jst commented that there was actually lots to do and see there. Not because of her but because he was stationed there early in his army career. I said that I was just kidding and started talking about all the stories I heard as we were passing through there on our vacation this summer. I have got to find a way to stop doing that...I don't even think about it until the words are out of my mouth!

My friend also went and bought a webcam and her D is able to see and have a conversation with friend without running up the phone bill! So we decided that we would get one too and than we can do the same, S10 and my friends S have been best friends since they were 5. We stopped at the store on the way home and my H said he was going to get a new webcam because the old one doesn't have voice and "we'll set it up in the kitchen so I can rest easy!" So he is trying!

A week or two ago he was going on the internet on his laptop and I was sitting by him and noticed that he still had the shortcuts to yahoo and msn messenger on his toolbar. I commented to him that if he doesn't use them anymore that he should delete him. I am pretty sure that he doesn't use them anymore but still don't really trust him...so one day I decided to uninstall them both from his laptop. Well, when I did that it shows when the last time the program was used ( I didn't notice on Yahoo) and he hasn't used MSN since 2/16/05!!!! That is the one he was using to talk to ff/ow. That is also right after Valentines day when we got in a big fight about her! So, I feel better about that...now I realize that he may still be emailing but I'm pretty confident it is only on occasion and the "affair" portion of that is over, at least for the most part!

I've mentioned that our sex life has definitely improved over the last year...really thanks to DB (do something different) but we are so not on the same schedule it makes it hard. He goes to bed/falls asleep so early sometimes...I can do without TV but there are some shows I really like watching, my time to be a blob and not think about real world! Last night I kind of figured he was going to fall asleep but I told him I would wake him up...I couldn't wake him up! I like to be up in the house when the kids are asleep and he falls asleep between 9-9:30...I am open to suggestions, the only thing I can think of is to go to bed early with him and than get back up if I want to watch tv.

Off to the YMCA...I'm really frustrated that I haven't been losing weight. I have been going to the Y since I moved here in mid-June and not dieting but overall eating better and I haven't lost a pound! But I'm not giving up, exercising is definite good for me regardless. I just wish I could lose some weight!

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