The rollercoaster never ends...the worst part of it is that I'm the one who is making it go upside down!
I have known for a very long time that my H is a pretty moody man and that talking about what is bothering him isn't something that he does often. But yet I still continue with the "crazymaking" (great term I learned on this BB).
Monday was one of those days...I have a tendency to babble so I will try to make a long story short...there are some issues going on at his work that may put a damper on his income for a bit. Now, he loves what he is doing and he is not going to lose his job but I'm still not working so we rely completely on his income. We have been lucky financially that $$ seems to come our way when we need it so our moving expenses and such were not a problem. We also sold our house and made a good profit which allowed us to pay some debt, buy a boat (which has been awesome!) and still put a large chunk in savings for a down payment on our next home. We have been enjoying ourselves, went on a family vacation back home, went to a concert, camping, we have gone out a few times, but this of course all takes $$ but we still have been able to save money each month. He is stressed because he does not a) want to start using our savings and b) start living paycheck to paycheck again. So all night Monday he was "moody" and I started thinking that it was really about me not working and that he is going to be crabby for a week or two until he finally says something to me about it. Then I start thinking about what he is telling ff and what if anything is going on with them... So I decided to ask him what his problem is to which he responds that he is thinking and that I know how he is. I said that I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't about me and if it is to get it out now so we can move past it. He didn't of course!
Tuesday, it seemed to be heading in the same direction...I called him to see if he could come watch D3 cuz I got a call to go in for drug testing and fingerprinting (finally) for approval for sub teaching (YEAH!) By yesterday evening he was fine and asked if I was able to "give it up" because he thought that would help relieve his stress! Unfortunately, my friend called and I was watching Sex and the City and he was sleeping by the time I got to bed at 10pm. I tried to wake him up but he was out! On the bright side we started the day out right today! This is the 2nd time in a few weeks that we ml in the morning...amazing since not to long ago he said he just wasn't that interested in "morners" anymore!
So again, my number one goal is to stop taking all of his moods personally. I do feel I did better, at least externally, this time.
How do I stop with all these negative thoughts about ff?? One day I went to shut down the computer and it was open to Expedia but all the history and cookies had been erased. When I asked him about it he said he wasn't on Expedia and he defragged the computer but didn't intentionally erase the history. Of course, I automatically start thinking that he is making some sort of arrangement to meet up with ff...realistically I know he's not. Why do I do this to myself?? I have no idea what sort of contact he has even had with her...he doesn't even check his hotmail account at home anymore. I seriously doubt he is sending sexual emails from work but I do wonder if he is still hiding things and doesn't want me to stumble across anything...I know that is a waste of my time and energy but I struggle with that constantly..
Unfortunately, my friend called and I was watching Sex and the City and he was sleeping by the time I got to bed at 10pm. I tried to wake him up but he was out! On the bright side we started the day out right today! 
This is the 2nd time in a few weeks that we ml in the morning...amazing since not to long ago he said he just wasn't that interested in "morners" anymore! 
